Relationship and couples therapy

Is it supposed to be this hard?

Maybe your partner is the one. Or maybe it’s felt doomed from the start…or maybe even both.

Either way here you are: finding yourself in same arguments over and over again, feeling increasingly disconnected from each other.

I work with couples and people in relationships who are struggling with communication, trust, intimacy, different expectations and values, family or in-law relationships, or a significant change in their lives and want to understand what is happening and how to move forwards.

You may be experiencing:

  • Different values and expectations
    Feeling emotionally disconnected, struggling with trust or infidelity, or having different expectations of the relationship.

  • Communication and conflict
    Having the same arguments repeatedly, struggling to express what you need, or finding that one partner shuts down during difficult conversations.

  • Family and in-law difficulties
    Conflict with parents or in-laws, disagreements about how involved family should be, or difficulties balancing your relationship with wider family expectations.

  • Cultural and religious differences
    Different expectations around marriage, gender roles, parenting, religion, family responsibilities or independence.

  • Life changes
    Adjusting to becoming parents, blended families, career changes, relocation, bereavement or other changes that have affected your relationship.

  • Feeling uncertain about your future together
    Feeling stuck, questioning what you both want, or trying to decide how to move forward.

If these struggles sound familiar, get in touch for a free consultation to see how couples or relationship therapy could help you in your partnership.

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My approach to relationships and couples therapy

I see the relationship as something you create together, shaped by each partners’ experiences, expectations and ways of relating. We can explore the patterns that develop between you, including what happens during conflict and what may be difficult to express directly.

I’m also interested in the wider context of your relationship. Family, culture, religion, race, class and experiences of identity can all influence what we expect from a partner and what we understand a good relationship to look like. This can be particularly important for couples from minority cultural backgrounds, or for couples from different cultural or religious backgrounds.

I approach these differences with curiosity and humility rather than assumptions. I won’t assume that closeness to family is healthy or unhealthy, that certain ways of being are always preferable, or that there is one right way to structure a relationship. Instead, we can explore what family, loyalty, privacy, independence and partnership mean to each of you, and where your expectations may differ. I am also interested in the tension between intimacy and individuality. Long-term relationships can sometimes become dominated by work, family responsibilities and routine, leaving next to no space for curiosity, playfulness, desire or a sense of yourself outside the relationship. I draw on relational and experiential approaches, including ideas from Esther Perel’s work, to explore how couples can maintain connection while also making room for individuality and desire.

Either way, couples and relationship therapy with me is a space to slow things down, understand the patterns you’ve become caught in, and develop a clearer understanding of what each of you needs from the relationship.

If you are considering couples therapy, please get in touch for an initial conversation about what is happening in your relationship and whether I might be able to help.

  • I work with couples where all parties are over the age of 18, and based in the UK.

  • I work online with couples once a week for 75 minute sessions.

    My approach aims to be anti-oppressive and from a place of cultural humility. I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Psychodynamic and Systemic Psychotherapy.

  • I am available for couples and relationship therapy on Mondays and Tuesdays only.

    Assessment £200: this includes one joint session and two 50 minute individual sessions to get a sense of what’s keeping the problem going and what you need to move forward.

    All weekly 75 minute joint sessions thereafter are £130.

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